Anyhow. I arrived at work at about 07:00 on Monday leaving LB at home to wait for Holly and play with Tae. Was my bosses first day back since his 2 week break, and I was keen to get to work and get work done only he could help with.

At about 08h00 I got a call from LB saying Holly hadn’t arrived and he needed to get to work in half an hour for a conference. I dropped everything, rushed home and we swopped duties. I tried (not very hard) to get hold of Holly, but both her and her husbands phones were off. I remember her telling me she was going to Mafikeng for a wedding, so I assumed transport issues. I really wasn’t phased. This was the first time in 15 months that we had ever had a ‘nanny not pitching to work’ issue. Hell, even one day Holly arrived with no shoes saying that taxi owners were shooting at each other and she had to run away and lost her shoes in the process. Still made it to work, no shoes, but at work! My kinda gal! I ended up giving her a pair of my mothers Skechers to work in. I know my mom would have approved that!

ANYWAY! Because I literally dropped everything to go home, I thought to myself that I would go home, pack all Tae’s stuff up and take her to my work. Gulp. Breaking a rule. But it was fine. I thought, “lemme go in, finish what I need to, and then leave”.

(side note: this is the second time I am typing this blog story out trying to make it short, but clearly I am a “full story” type of gal)

So I packed Tae up. Wet her “mieliepip hare” (can’t take her in public looking like a golliwog like she does when she wakes) and bundled her up to go to work… Briefly, remember?

We arrived and I carried her in. Sat at my desk and started working. She clung onto me like a monkey and went all shy to the attention that she was receiving. Cue: exploding mommy heart. With each and every day that passes Tae becomes more… Um… Not sure how to explain… Maybe, expressive? Aware? Aware that I am her mommy, aware of her surroundings, aware of herself as a being? Either way, her clinginess to me makes my heart explode!

So, after some time she settled and started playing quietly. She was so good, an absolute angel, that before I knew it she was all played out and tired. I hadn’t finished my work and decided to try my very best to put her to sleep. Well, this is where my sleep training paid off… BIG TIME! I had enough blankets with me and made a fairy/Christmas bed in the smallest corner by my desk. I picked Tae up, kissed her, gave her her bottle and bunny, and lay her down while I continued with work.

I carried on chatting (loudly) to my colleagues and before I knew it, she was asleep! She passed out in her Christmas bed behind moms desk.

(tried my very best to insert a photo of her sleeping behind my desk, but we won’t go into conversation about how dick my iPad is being)

I was so incredibly proud! So impressed at how proud my kid had made me, and herself, and looked so incredibly rad by her good behaviour.

I needed to run over to the other departments miles away, but asked the girls in my office to watch her sleep and call me for anything. She just slept. Two and a half hours later and still sleeping!

She woke at 13h30 and was a tad grumpy. I changed her nappy, shouted at her for trying to play with the plugs (cue: first flood of tears), but then she happily played and carried on once she built a bridge and got over herself

Before I knew it I got a phone call from LB asking where we were and I realized that we had lasted a whole day! Tae had been an angel, and despite me breaking my own rule, it really wasn’t that bad! It was 16:15 and we were still going strong! Too much pride and happiness to express.

The whole point of this story is just to state how incredibly proud I am of my little girl. Not only did she make it through a day at mummy’s work, but she did it spectacularly!

She was quiet, cute, considerate, amazing and just a blessing to have. The fact that we stayed until I after 16:00 without me realising is amazing!

I do remember at one stage walking to my bosses office asking him “serious business ” questions with Tae on my hip, but he was also so good as to treat me “normally” even though I had an attachment. Work carried on regardless of having a kid there. Made me proud! This whole experience was eye opening and opinion changing!

Tatum, you were amazing! You blew everyone’s mind away. And more importantly, you made mommy so proud… You made me beam with delight!

Thank you so much my angel! I will keep your tantrums to myself

P.S. this scenario will never have a repeat option

P.P.S. I tried to upload photos of you on the day, but both my MacBook and iPad are being retarded. So sorry…

TV programme:  Teletubbies. You shout at the TV when they come on, and dance with them
iPhone App:  Balloon Pop hands down. Your dad has it, I have it and the iPad has it. Balloon Pop heaven!
Meal:  Mince and mash, or roast chicken and mash. You gobble both of these up
Fruit:  Naartjie
Vegetable:  Gemsquash
Breakfast:  Jungle oats

Drink:  Watered down juice and fridge water

Toy:  Your shopping trolley that Exmi gave you, and my phone
You love:  Your “dawg”, cuddles and hanging upside down

Something that happened yesterday:

You dragged me to the couch so you could sit on top of me to watch Teletubbies. Heart melt right there

It hits me at times when I least know it. Like now. Ok, its midnight on the 11th month since she left me. Left me alone, grasping at straws, reaching out to whoever will listen. I need a mother. A mother figure, that will guide me and support me the way you did.

I reach out but feel I hit brick walls. No one understands me like you did. No one knows me like you did. All they do is break me down, where as you used to listen and pick me up. I broke, and you made me whole.

I have my own family and it feels awesome, I am so in love with my amazing man and baby, but I still want you! You never judged, always listened, and were never condescending. No matter what, you let me vent, cry, throw tantrums, whatever, but would then help fix the situation. Hold me in your arms and gave me reassurance. Never pushy.

You weren’t perfect, in fact sometimes I wish you would disappear. But now that you gone I miss that pain in the ass you used to be. I long for your calls and messed up smses. I was the only one that understood you.

I know you happy and peaceful, and that makes me happy. But I will never stop missing the one person I felt complete me. I wish I could share my success with you, you would be so proud!

Tatum is just as clingy as I was. Makes my heart swell, you were right all along!

I know you can never come back, and
I don’t want you back because you are happier where you are, you deserve it! Life on earth treated you bad. You never deserved it. But this longing for you will never leave me.

You were the best, the most awesome, incredible, inspirational person I knew. You fought tooth and nail until the end. Never gave up, we always pulled through.

I don’t want to finish the post, but need to. This blog was about Tatum and her progress, but I feel (later on life) she needs to know what I felt.

We both lost an angel, your legacy will live on, I will ensure that! I love you always and forever

P.S. She loves the toothbrush you bought her, I opened it today. You see, even after you gone your legacy still lives

Today I am not. I am a mess. It is always the non-important days that hit me hard.

I miss her so much. I want her so badly. I am hiding my pain, but it sucks. Please Mommy, come back. I need you, and I need you now. Please

Mothers Day wasn’t really a big day for me when it came to my mom. My mothers birthday is 16 May and we would either celebrate both on Mothers Day, or her birthday. But her birthday honestly meant more to me.

Someone told me (or I read somehwere-cant remember) that the pain of losing a loved one doesnt get smaller, but life gets bigger. Each and every day I am more in awe of my mother and what an amazing woman she was. Yes, she had her fair share of shit, but I got over that. I think about her daily and how beautiful she was, in and out. I think it is because I am now a mother and realise that all she did in her life was for us, pretty much how Iwould doing anything for Tatum.

I miss her so much, but thankfully life is getting bigger. Her damn perfume is still hanging around and at least once a week I get a wiff of her. Pretty sure she ‘pops’ in. Or I am going crazy. Either way I like it

 Tatum is incredible and I am so proud to be her mom! She blows me away constantly. I am truly so blessed. Life is ridiculously good and my baby just completes it all! My amazing man made MD very special for me, and I have amazing friends who have helped me too. Today I am honestly not that sad.

But it’s her birthday that is going to kill me…

My gosh, you are 8 months old today! A whole 2 thirds of a year my girl. You starting to become more and more of a little person and even though I thought it wasn’t possible, I am enjoying you more and more everyday. The love I have for you is too big to fit on this blog

Mommy has been a bad blogger, but since you have arrived there really has been very little time and my priorities have changed (you, you, you and you). In no particular order, I am going to wrack my brain and spew out all the little things you do that make me love you more and more everyday…

You can sit
You laugh easily
You can put things in your mouth.
Pass things from one hand to another
Slap mommy (not so much love here)
Undo your nappy (another one)
Got a tooth (16 March 2011
Had 2 fevers
Eat solids
Eat meat
Love gemsqaush
Eat a cookie
Eat biltong
Squash our toes with your walker
Glide effortlessly around the house in your walker
Sit and play with toys for 20 min +
Launch yourself to crawl
Face plant, numerous times.
Hold your own bottle
Find your bottle (sometimes) in your bed and drink
Put yourself to sleep, mommy just puts you in your cot (big achievement)
Pooh in your sleep (not a great achievement)
Succeed in taking over a king size bed single handedly
Sit quietly while I cut your nails
Squirm when I clean your ears
Laugh when we come home from work
Manipulate us
Melt our hearts
Wrap us tighter around your pinky.

I love you so much my baba. You are too adorable for words. I can’t wait to learn more about you. Proud to be your mamma!

Xxx

Growing up so fast

PnP Bum Cream must be the winner out of  all the products for us. Nana’s nanny loved this and when I told her yesterday that Pick n Pay had offered us more stuff she immediately said the magic bum cream. I am not joking, she said “magic”. I found it to be lighter in texture as quite a few other creams have been too heavy on her girl parts. And of course a complete plus for me is that it came in a tube. I really don’t like tubs so this was right up my ally.

PnP Real baby wipes are awesome. They cheap, smell good, are nice and moist, and work well. 10/10

PnP Real baby nappies… So when we received our nappies and goodies, the first thing I did was rip open the bag of nappies with my teeth (I kid you not) and took a nappy out to inspect. They were not as soft as my usual brand, but that is not was I was looking for. I wanted to see if this nappy could draw away the moisture from her bits just as quick as our current ones, and of course not leak at all. I mentioned this in my first post but will tell you all again. I first opened the nappy to expect it and found it had a green strip which is obviously their gel strip. Good but not impressed yet. I then got a glass out, a cooldrink glass, and filled it up with water. Proceeded to open the nappy flat and pour about 200ml of water into it all in one go. Now I don’t think a baby even pees 200ml but this would then be the ultimate test. I left the nappy for about 10 seconds to at least give it a bit of a chance and then went in for the final inspection.

Not only had the gel done it’s magic, but it was nearly bone dry inside! I tell you we need to send these nappies to Brisbane to help  soak up all the water OK that’s a bit extreme. But you get the point, the nappies were brilliant and did their job. I had one last test which Nana could only do for me. The sleep test. I don’t change her nappy during the night. She doesnt wee a lot and if I do it just wakes her up more than she already is when she wants a bottle. In the morning she was dry, the nappy was full but she was perfect. No leaks, nothing nada nix.

Well I think that’s about it. I highly recommend these products for anyone who is looking for an alternative in baby stuff. It is refreshing to know one has more options when it comes to your bundle of joy.

Çhat soon

PnP Baby lotion was definitely a winner. I found the cream to be light on her skin and not too oily. It absorbed quickly and her clothing didn’t stick to her body, even after dressing her (sometimes) immediately after applying cream. The cream also smells very fresh thanks to the chamomile extract that all the products have.

PnP Aqueous Cream was great for baths. At the hospital they taught me to smother her with aqueous lotion before I place her in the water to give her extra moisture when I don’t want to use baby oil. It left her skin nice and soft and also tasted good (I assume) as Tae couldn’t stop sucking her hand that had cream on it

PnP Baby powder also gets a thumbs up even though this is something we very rarely use. I used it for her armpits and chin as I battle to get these places dry when she fights me. The smell was once again great and the powder dried those areas up quickly.

PnP Baby buds were pretty standard. But then again how can one make ear buds extraordinary I must add, for their price they are great, R10,99 for 50, BARGAIN!

Well that’s all we use for after bath time. Honestly up until now I have found these products to be great all round. We will be doing our final review on Nappy stuff soon which I am excited about as I never thought they would match up to our current brand, but we were pleasantly suprised

Until then

xxx

So lets start with the bath stuff.

Pnp baby soap was ok. I use bar soap on her which keeps her skin soft. I found it to make her squeaky clean, literally. I think maybe when they a bit older it would be good, but not now for my 5 month old pookie face.

PnP tear free baby shampoo was unbelievable! I was blown away by this product. We wash hair every second day and in the process she gets water in her face as well as shampoo from all the fun and splashing. Not once did I notice the shampoo bother her eyes or irritate them. And afterwards her hair smelt delicious, felt soft, was more manageable and had less tangles which she gets from sleeping. Will definitely buy this again

PnP Baby Oil was also a product we enjoyed although have only used it twice. I sometimes, only sometimes, will put a bit her bath to soften her skin. The two times I did I found the smell to be great and her skin nice and oiled after her bath. Not to oily but soft. Winner

PnP Cotton wool pleats rocked. I love the idea of pleats as well as the way they easily tear off into neat little rectangles. They were great to dip in her bath water and clean under her chin as well as her face and eyes. Would love more of these.

Well that’s pretty much all we have used for bath time. Princess loves her baths and both of us can’t wait until she can sit 100% properly and enjoy it even more. Watch out for our next review of PnP after bath stuff

XXX